It’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years

Last June, I went to what should have been a friend’s 50th birthday party. In fact, it was to make-up for the fact that we couldn’t celebrate together in 2020 due to Covid. In April, two months before his make-up party, my friend, who was living in Baja, Mexico, spent a few hours surfing, then playing with a few kids on the beach and laid down for a nap. He never awoke. That was it for him. The shock we all felt at his sudden and unexpected death was beyond comprehension. His wife decided to keep his “birthday party” as a celebration of life in his honor. When 150 of us sang at the top of our lungs “Happy Birthday Chris!” looking up toward the sky, convinced he could hear us, a fundamental truth landed in my heart. It’s not the years in your life but the life in your years. Admittedly, passing at 50 years old is not what any of us wish, but no one could argue that this man had not squeezed every ounce of life out of those 50 years.

For most of the adult population, work and where it happens have dictated the quality of their lives. For many of us, our focus on our jobs often meant neglecting our family, our relationships and our own self-care and personal growth. As we are coming out of The Great Pause imposed upon us by Covid we now have more flexibility around how and where we work, and it has me thinking more and more about the kind of life I want to live - how do I want to spend my precious days and what is the quality of my interactions with my family, friends and colleagues? I’m feeling a sense of urgency about cutting through the superficial chit chat and getting to the more meaningful, more profound, intimate conversations. 

This renewed longing for more mindful connections and relationships extends beyond our personal relationships into our work interactions as well. It begs the question: how often do we need to see each other in person to maintain and strengthen our connections? Do we need to be in the same room to make things happen and get work done? Will culture and brainstorming moments suffer without the proverbial daily water cooler conversations? Without these more organic interactions, leaders are rightfully concerned that the special “je ne sais quoi” that comes from working in-person together may dissipate. 

Like so many things post-pandemic, it’s time to rethink how we come together in ways more meaningful that can strengthen our bonds, in a manner that leaves our hearts full, our minds open and our bodies more grounded and alive. This mandates a coming together that is more intentional and purposeful than it has been in our hyper-digitally connected world where personal connections have been fraying for the past few decades. Committing to a cadence that prioritizes quality over quantity is essential to reframing how we work so that two to four well thought-out gatherings per year can do more to unite and align employees than more frequent, spontaneous interactions. The key is to be strategic in how you design these meetings. 

A few high-value areas of focus are: 

• Vision/Mission/Values 

This is ground zero for all organizations, particularly those who are mission-driven. Taking the time to articulate a vision statement that can answer the question “who do we want to be in 10+ years” will ensure the company has an aspirational long term goal that acts as a touchstone as the company embarks on its journey. Developing a corresponding mission statement that focuses on how this vision will be achieved and defining values that guide daily behaviors creates a purpose-driven foundation that underlies the strategies the company will develop and execute upon. Revisiting your vision, mission and values annually to ensure your strategy and major initiatives are in service of your longer term vision makes sure the company stays true to its core values and employees stay connected to the “why” behind the work. Purpose and alignment bring teams together and foster greater collaboration. Taking the time to reground in the bigger purpose that each individual’s area of responsibility connects to will make sure employees understand the broader context around their work and how each of their areas is an integral part of realizing the company’s vision.

• Strategy 

Setting and aligning on strategy and the work needed to execute on big initiatives is more crucial now than ever. Research has consistently shown that companies with leaders most committed to and confident in their strategies grow faster and are more profitably than their peers who are not. The increased unpredictability of this moment in time, coupled with remote and hybrid work only increases the need to have a clear, forward-looking strategy. Now more than ever, clarity on the key drivers that will enable you to meet your goals is essential to ensuring work does not become diffused across a multitude of tangential work streams that won’t have as much impact on the business long term. Applying a decision-making framework can also help to roles and responsibilities as well as ownership of key decisions across key work streams which can get very fuzzy when working remotely.

• Creative Collaboration

Research has shown that collaboration and creativity are what suffer most in a virtual world. Making sure to design at least one or two meetings per year that are intended to brainstorm new ideas will ensure you are continuing to harness your collective creative energy.  These meetings are your opportunity to ask the big “what-if” questions, run scenario analyses and go deep on complex, less developed ideas that are harder to get at virtually. 

• Inspiration and Storytelling 

Telling stories is one of the most powerful tools leaders have to create an emotional connection with their teams. Stories help us understand others and ourselves, because we feel empathy with the characters and we make connections between other people’s stories and our own. Stories are powerful tools to teach, motivate and inspire action, they are perfect instruments for creating a sense of attachment through identification. 

• Team Building and Team Effectiveness 

Last, but certainly not least, meetings focused on the more human element that allow for self-reflection and connecting on a more personal level with others will strengthen and build greater self-awareness and interpersonal skills that will establish the foundation of trust necessary to bring joy, levity and purpose into the workplace. Making the time to come together and practice building trust, being vulnerable and giving and receiving feedback will build the connective tissue that will carry these teams until the next time they meet in person again. 

I believe being thoughtful in how we design in-person, regular interactions focused on a mixture of these simple ingredients can mitigate many of the disadvantages of working remotely and may even, over time, strengthen our work relationships - the key is for greater emotional connection not physical connection. Remember, you can be physically together but be in your own world. Connections that strengthen bonds, enable us to trust, and fill our cup must be more intentional, heart-based interactions. 

Perhaps this is one of the silver linings to come out of a global pandemic? I’m excited for what’s to come. 

(Photo by Timon Studler / Unsplash)